Give Me Five things you like and/or dislike about your birthday. IT IS NOT MY BIRTHDAY. MY BIRTHDAY WAS IN MARCH.
5) Cheesecake Factory. Every year my wonderful husband takes me to eat there...I get to eat lots of yummy food and GOBS of cheesecake!!!
4) Build-A-Bear Workshop. Somehow this has become my birthday tradition to take the kids to get new Build-A-Bears and then eat at Cheesecake Factory!
3) Girl's Night Out.....this year we went bowling! IT was SO fun!!!
2) ME day. It's MY day....not yours...I get what I want.
1) Being thankful that I've made it another year! Yay!!!
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
Monday, November 12, 2007
Monday Blessings
I'm borrowing this from my friend. She's over there to the left. Her blog is called "Cheaper by the Half Dozen." Read it.
10) That God gave me two of the most wonderful children ever. Even when they're driving me bonkers, I'm utterly blessed.
9) COUPONS!! I bought 2 weeks of groceries, ALL of Thanksgiving Dinner supplies and food (including the turkey), 2 birthday presents each for my kids for $299.00. GOTTA LOVE COUPONS!
8) Vitamin Water. Especially the B-Relaxed flavoer with jackfruit and guava.....YUM!
7) My husband. I adore him more than anyone in the world....even when he's being lazy. LOL
6) My best friends, Lori, Rene, Kisha, Brenny and Leiann.
5) Lip Gloss. I think I'd fall over without it. Okay, probably not...but it's a necessity!
4) Digital cameras! I love taking pictures. It's so fun!!!
3) Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. Kylee and I would eat a tub of peanut butter if we could.
2) My job and home. Even though I'm about to sell my house, I'm thankful that I have a home to live in, and a job to go to every day that pays the bills.
1) God. If it weren't for God, let's face it, I wouldn't be here. Other than that, He's my saviour, my friend, my father. I have 100% of my faith in God, and I know that He will always be here for me.
God bless you all!
10) That God gave me two of the most wonderful children ever. Even when they're driving me bonkers, I'm utterly blessed.
9) COUPONS!! I bought 2 weeks of groceries, ALL of Thanksgiving Dinner supplies and food (including the turkey), 2 birthday presents each for my kids for $299.00. GOTTA LOVE COUPONS!
8) Vitamin Water. Especially the B-Relaxed flavoer with jackfruit and guava.....YUM!
7) My husband. I adore him more than anyone in the world....even when he's being lazy. LOL
6) My best friends, Lori, Rene, Kisha, Brenny and Leiann.
5) Lip Gloss. I think I'd fall over without it. Okay, probably not...but it's a necessity!
4) Digital cameras! I love taking pictures. It's so fun!!!
3) Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. Kylee and I would eat a tub of peanut butter if we could.
2) My job and home. Even though I'm about to sell my house, I'm thankful that I have a home to live in, and a job to go to every day that pays the bills.
1) God. If it weren't for God, let's face it, I wouldn't be here. Other than that, He's my saviour, my friend, my father. I have 100% of my faith in God, and I know that He will always be here for me.
God bless you all!
Friday, November 9, 2007
Bad News......
So, I spoke with my doctor yesterday afternoon. He hadn't received the radiological report yet, but he asked me how it went. I informed him of everything, and explained what was said about the IUD. He explained to me that there is no way that the IUD would be causing infection in my breast. *joy*
SO, I was instructed to call him back Monday afternoon, and "we'll go from there." So, the issue is still open, and we still don't know what it is.
I explained to my friend Kisha, that even if they told me it was cancer, it'd be easier to handle than NOT knowing what it is. At least then I'd know what I can do next to get well again. Whoever said, "Ignorance is bliss" is a moron.
SO, I was instructed to call him back Monday afternoon, and "we'll go from there." So, the issue is still open, and we still don't know what it is.
I explained to my friend Kisha, that even if they told me it was cancer, it'd be easier to handle than NOT knowing what it is. At least then I'd know what I can do next to get well again. Whoever said, "Ignorance is bliss" is a moron.
My Day at the Breast Center
Well....I was nervous...I think my Tatas were more nervous than me. I enter the building, and sit in a waiting room. There, 2 other ladies and 2 men sit waiting. A 3rd lady comes out from the back into the room, crying. She'd just been given the good news that she did NOT have breast cancer. The other 2 ladies and one man hugged her hard, I just smiled and continued to fill out my paperwork. They all held hands, and said a prayer. Then, they included me in their prayer. There was this warm, tingly feeling inside me that had tears springing to my eyes. They smiled at me, and left. The 2nd man went to his car. (I think he was offended by the prayer....OH WELL!) I sat alone, and in walks a petite nurse.
"Follow me, please." She's VERY nice, instructs me on how to wear my gown, open to the front, and to put on a white robe and wait to be called. The second waiting room is very quiet and peaceful. I sit, twiddling my thumbs and feeling the flutters and that odd warm sensation in my tummy. Of course, I texted Rene to tell her that God was with me....and He was. I felt Him.
The Radiologist Tech came in, "HI! My name is Oxana. I'll be taking care of you today." She's small. (It must be a pre-requisite to work here that you have to be petite) She's from India, maybe Pakistan and has a thickish accent, that I find charming and relaxing. I lay on the bed, and she opens the gown. The entire time, I'm not uncomfortable because she's so soothing in how she's talking to me. Finally...the goop. I cringe, just KNOWING it'll be cold, but it's not. It's very soothing and warm, and smells of some type of flower. COOL!
She's chatting with me the entire time, taking my mind off of everything. I'm watching the screen...half expecting to see a little foot or head. Pregnancy ultra sounds are just way cooler, the inside of your boob is very boring. I tense up every time she "snaps a picture" and think..."this is it....that's the cancer...." Finally, she hands me 2 towels, and says, "Go ahead and clean up, and I'll be back with the radiologist. He may want to scan you again."
So, I sit. Then, I sit.....and oh I sit some more. Finally, I get tired of sitting so I lay down...and doze. The room is very dim, and all of the 'white noise' from the machines is soooo soothing, and off to never-never land I go. I startle at the sound of the door open, and groggily sit up to see the first tall person in the building. He's the Radiologist..."Hi, I'm Dr.........(I can NOT remember his name)." He asks me 300 questions about cancer in my family, if I've had a fever, etc. Then he says, "Open your gown, let me look at both of them together." For the first time all day, I felt exposed and uncomfortable. When I opened my gown, I swear it was like peep show! LOL
Finally, he scans me again, and then we're done.
"Well," he says, "I can't see anything that has fluid in it. I'm going to suggest we put you on another round of antibiotics, and see how it goes." Then we discussed the possibility that my IUD could be causing the infections. See, most IUDs are metal wires, but noooooo, I got the Mirena, which has hormones in it. The type of hormone in the IUD is different than the pill, and b/c I just had it put in, it could be giving off high doses of hormone that is causing the infection. "And you know," the dr. says, "your uterus is attached to your breasts." I think he was trying to be funny....but it was wasted on me. So then he says, that we're going to do another round of antibiotics, and he wants me to take the IUD out. I'm not happy about this at all, especially since I was informed I can't take birth control anymore. So, now, Brian and I are faced with "the big question". Do we want more kids? We can't afford more, now, and do we really want to go through the sleepless nights, diapers, baby food expenses, child care expenses again??? The answer is most decidedly no. So, I'm very very sad. I think I'm more sad that the option is about to be taken away from me, more so than not having a baby. (Brenny, you understand what I mean) So.....now Brian is going to be getting a vasectomy as soon as we can afford to do it. *sigh*
So...the jist is this.....Get IUD out, get back on Antibiotics, wait 3-4 months to see if A) it doesn't get better or B) it comes back.....if either of those occur, I will need to return for a skin biopsy.
"Follow me, please." She's VERY nice, instructs me on how to wear my gown, open to the front, and to put on a white robe and wait to be called. The second waiting room is very quiet and peaceful. I sit, twiddling my thumbs and feeling the flutters and that odd warm sensation in my tummy. Of course, I texted Rene to tell her that God was with me....and He was. I felt Him.
The Radiologist Tech came in, "HI! My name is Oxana. I'll be taking care of you today." She's small. (It must be a pre-requisite to work here that you have to be petite) She's from India, maybe Pakistan and has a thickish accent, that I find charming and relaxing. I lay on the bed, and she opens the gown. The entire time, I'm not uncomfortable because she's so soothing in how she's talking to me. Finally...the goop. I cringe, just KNOWING it'll be cold, but it's not. It's very soothing and warm, and smells of some type of flower. COOL!
She's chatting with me the entire time, taking my mind off of everything. I'm watching the screen...half expecting to see a little foot or head. Pregnancy ultra sounds are just way cooler, the inside of your boob is very boring. I tense up every time she "snaps a picture" and think..."this is it....that's the cancer...." Finally, she hands me 2 towels, and says, "Go ahead and clean up, and I'll be back with the radiologist. He may want to scan you again."
So, I sit. Then, I sit.....and oh I sit some more. Finally, I get tired of sitting so I lay down...and doze. The room is very dim, and all of the 'white noise' from the machines is soooo soothing, and off to never-never land I go. I startle at the sound of the door open, and groggily sit up to see the first tall person in the building. He's the Radiologist..."Hi, I'm Dr.........(I can NOT remember his name)." He asks me 300 questions about cancer in my family, if I've had a fever, etc. Then he says, "Open your gown, let me look at both of them together." For the first time all day, I felt exposed and uncomfortable. When I opened my gown, I swear it was like peep show! LOL
Finally, he scans me again, and then we're done.
"Well," he says, "I can't see anything that has fluid in it. I'm going to suggest we put you on another round of antibiotics, and see how it goes." Then we discussed the possibility that my IUD could be causing the infections. See, most IUDs are metal wires, but noooooo, I got the Mirena, which has hormones in it. The type of hormone in the IUD is different than the pill, and b/c I just had it put in, it could be giving off high doses of hormone that is causing the infection. "And you know," the dr. says, "your uterus is attached to your breasts." I think he was trying to be funny....but it was wasted on me. So then he says, that we're going to do another round of antibiotics, and he wants me to take the IUD out. I'm not happy about this at all, especially since I was informed I can't take birth control anymore. So, now, Brian and I are faced with "the big question". Do we want more kids? We can't afford more, now, and do we really want to go through the sleepless nights, diapers, baby food expenses, child care expenses again??? The answer is most decidedly no. So, I'm very very sad. I think I'm more sad that the option is about to be taken away from me, more so than not having a baby. (Brenny, you understand what I mean) So.....now Brian is going to be getting a vasectomy as soon as we can afford to do it. *sigh*
So...the jist is this.....Get IUD out, get back on Antibiotics, wait 3-4 months to see if A) it doesn't get better or B) it comes back.....if either of those occur, I will need to return for a skin biopsy.
Tuesday, November 6, 2007
Breast Cancer.
I've had a lot going on in my life recently. From the dreaded money problems, to accepting my children are growing up on me, to worrying about the horrors of breast cancer.
Recently, I woke in the morning and found that my right breast was swollen (more than normal), hot to the touch, and extremely sore. So, I made an appt to see my OB/GYN. He assured me that b/c of my age, it's more than likely just an infection. He prescribed mega drugs, and sent me on my merry way. After taking the meds, which made me SO SICK, I might add, I discovered that though the infection was no longer there, there was still something VERY wrong with my breast. It's still tender to the touch, red, swollen, and the nipple area is very puffy. *great* So, I'm informed to make an appointment for an ultra sound. *yay*
So, basically what we're trying to rule out right now is breast cancer. This scares me stupid. The type of breast cancer that it *may* be is called Inflammatory Breast Cancer. It's a rare, aggressive form of cancer that is more prevailent in younger women. It's so aggressive that one of the only ways to "get rid of it" is to have a mastectomy. Okay....I've always HATED being extremely large breasted, but I really cried like crazy when I thought about losing them....ALL of them. The first thing that went through my mind, and I'm certain that any woman with breast cancer thinks this, is "Will my husband still love me if I have no breasts?"
Fighting back the shame, I finally had a talk with my husband about it. I cried, telling him how it scares me to know that he may leave me b/c I'd be deformed, and if he leaves me, what other man would want a deformed broken woman? Okay, so vanity really kicks in when you're faced with the possibility of losing something that you think makes you a woman. I explained it to him like this..."It's like...how would you feel if they told you, they'd have to cut your penis off?" Not very nice, and I'm sure he crossed his legs in fear. He did his best to reassure me that he loves me more than life, and that even without breasts, he'd love me, but somewhere in the back of my mind, I keep imagining him becoming horrified to look at me again, and how could he possibly be attracted to a hideous person like me?
I'm scared beyond reason. Yes, it's possible there is something completely simple that can be fixed in there to stop the pain. Yes, it's likely that there isn't cancer in there, but when you're faced with the possibilities, it's terrifying. On top of that, I feel insanely guilty for thinking of my vanity, when I should be thinking of my life! Not to mention, I feel guilty for feeling these things because there are women in the world who have been through this, and have suffered, and are greatful they're alive, even without breasts, and I wonder if they ever felt the way I do.
I'm praying that it's not cancer. I'm praying that if it IS cancer, it's not IBC because it's got a low survival rate, and I'm praying that I'm able to live, fight, and pull through this. I'm scared, terrified really. I don't know what else to do but to ask God to do His will, and lead me where He wants me to go.
So, hug the women in your life. Hug them hard, tell them you love them, then pray that there are cures every day for every type of cancer. God Bless.
Recently, I woke in the morning and found that my right breast was swollen (more than normal), hot to the touch, and extremely sore. So, I made an appt to see my OB/GYN. He assured me that b/c of my age, it's more than likely just an infection. He prescribed mega drugs, and sent me on my merry way. After taking the meds, which made me SO SICK, I might add, I discovered that though the infection was no longer there, there was still something VERY wrong with my breast. It's still tender to the touch, red, swollen, and the nipple area is very puffy. *great* So, I'm informed to make an appointment for an ultra sound. *yay*
So, basically what we're trying to rule out right now is breast cancer. This scares me stupid. The type of breast cancer that it *may* be is called Inflammatory Breast Cancer. It's a rare, aggressive form of cancer that is more prevailent in younger women. It's so aggressive that one of the only ways to "get rid of it" is to have a mastectomy. Okay....I've always HATED being extremely large breasted, but I really cried like crazy when I thought about losing them....ALL of them. The first thing that went through my mind, and I'm certain that any woman with breast cancer thinks this, is "Will my husband still love me if I have no breasts?"
Fighting back the shame, I finally had a talk with my husband about it. I cried, telling him how it scares me to know that he may leave me b/c I'd be deformed, and if he leaves me, what other man would want a deformed broken woman? Okay, so vanity really kicks in when you're faced with the possibility of losing something that you think makes you a woman. I explained it to him like this..."It's like...how would you feel if they told you, they'd have to cut your penis off?" Not very nice, and I'm sure he crossed his legs in fear. He did his best to reassure me that he loves me more than life, and that even without breasts, he'd love me, but somewhere in the back of my mind, I keep imagining him becoming horrified to look at me again, and how could he possibly be attracted to a hideous person like me?
I'm scared beyond reason. Yes, it's possible there is something completely simple that can be fixed in there to stop the pain. Yes, it's likely that there isn't cancer in there, but when you're faced with the possibilities, it's terrifying. On top of that, I feel insanely guilty for thinking of my vanity, when I should be thinking of my life! Not to mention, I feel guilty for feeling these things because there are women in the world who have been through this, and have suffered, and are greatful they're alive, even without breasts, and I wonder if they ever felt the way I do.
I'm praying that it's not cancer. I'm praying that if it IS cancer, it's not IBC because it's got a low survival rate, and I'm praying that I'm able to live, fight, and pull through this. I'm scared, terrified really. I don't know what else to do but to ask God to do His will, and lead me where He wants me to go.
So, hug the women in your life. Hug them hard, tell them you love them, then pray that there are cures every day for every type of cancer. God Bless.
Baby Grace
I'm so incredibly sad about this. In October, a fisherman, found a little girl in a plastic box on one of Galveston's uninhibited beaches. The little girl had been "dead for several weeks" and suffered from "head trauma". It's been weeks, and though there are hundreds of calls coming in for possibilities...no one has yet claimed this poor little girl. She's approximately 2-3 years old and weighed about 35 pounds. It saddens me b/c someone had to love this little girl....and she's alone and nameless, and even though I know she's with God now....she deserves to be laid to rest in peace.
Here is a web site that has a depiction of Baby Grace, information about what she was last wearing, and how you can help. Please pray for this little angel. God's got her now, but we need to find out who she was.
www.baby-grace.org
Here is a web site that has a depiction of Baby Grace, information about what she was last wearing, and how you can help. Please pray for this little angel. God's got her now, but we need to find out who she was.
www.baby-grace.org
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