Sometimes....

I'm a big dreamer. More often than not, I have my head lingering in the clouds, lost in a dream world only I can understand. One of my passions is writing. I have wanted to write a book since I was 10 and discovered a whole new world created in the art of romance novels. Yes, 10 was a bit young to be introduced to Harlequin, yet I had read all of the "younger" books and they bored me to tears, and I needed something new, and craved more and more. My first attempt at writing was a horrendously written "novella" about a young girl falling in love with an American Indian in the early 1800's. Okay...so obviously I needed more experience under my belt, it's true that a 12 year old girl, no matter how worldy she believes herself to be, knows anything about the mental and physical attraction between man and woman. My next attempt at writing was a more complicated story of young love, and the highly overrated "first time". At the tender age of 16, I felt I had it all figured out, yet I still didn't posess enough actual knowledge to write something believable to the average reader. No matter how much research I did, or how much I thought I gained in reading myself, I hadn't quite reached the point where I could actually tell a story and know the drama and heartbreak, as well as the adult humor was being received well by the reader.

I am now 27 years old, and the things I have lived through, and discovered over the years makes me feel more confident that I can write something and honestly have a reader think to themselves, "hey, been there sister." I've discovered the miracle of birth, as well as the lovely contractions that acompany it. I've lived through an abusive situation, and came out on top. I've felt young love, lust, and real true love. I've been married, been through a divorce, and been married again. I've traveled to wonderful places, and seen amazing things, and lived through the sadness of 9/11. I'm at a point where I feel that I can now sit down and focus on a story that not only relates to humans, but that will reach people and make them feel sorrow, laughter, joy, pain, and love. So, now I'm faced with just what do I write about? A very good friend of mine says, "Just sit and write...let it flow out of you." I'm too flighty, I need a goal, and I haven't quite figured out how that goal should be accomplished. It's funny how I can sit here and "just write" a blog, and it makes sense and it sounds good, yet I can sit for hours in front of my computer with a story in mind and I'm lucky to get chapter one written. Maybe I'm too hard on myself and constantly sit there thinking, no, that sounds stupid.......DELETE.

One step at a time. I must now make a goal to START a book. We'll proceed from there. I'll keep you posted. :)